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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Foundation of Love

Does your relationship have the proper foundation to survive? I'm not talking about a paper mache type of relationship that if you throw water on it or it catches on fire then the relationship is done, over with. I'm talking about the type of foundation like the pyramids in Egypt, those pyramids were made from limestone, granite, clay and mud, many different types of materials to build a strong structure. Yes I know you have layers with paper mache but again if you throw water on paper it's going to crumble all at once. With pyramids, you can throw water on it, set it on fire and remove a couple of bricks but at the end of the day the foundation will still be there. It may have a few chips and holes but those can be repaired as long as the foundation is secure enough. Even if you used a bulldozer it's not taking that pyramid down after one hit, it's going to take several tries before that pyramid crumbles and even after it crumbles you still have the original structure at the bottom, that will allow you to rebuild if you choose.
I hear people say they want a strong relationship but do not want to put in the time and effort it takes to build up the relationship or their carrying around baggage from past relationships that they will not let go of. Being in a relationship never stops, you don't get any days off. I'm noticing a lot of people are mistaking lust for love and when things get rough or situations occur within the relationship, people are quick to run or use sex as a band aide. I don't care how long you are in a relationship with a person if you don't have the proper foundation than it's going to crumble. In this day and age there are too many distractions that can harm a relationship that's not already stable. Social media, texting messages, cell phones and emails are ruining a lot of relationships BUT that's because the media is dictating what should be and shouldn't be in a relationship, we want what we see other people have (false illusion). That's where the problem is right there, false illusions give off the effect that your relationship should be perfect and we all know there is no perfect relationship; this world does not have perfect people.
All relationships will have its flaws it's how you handle those flaws that matters. Think back to when your great-great grandparents where married, they survived because they built the proper foundation to overcome the struggles they were faced with. There was no email, text, Facebook, Twitter, none of that, they communicated via letters, having weekend dates or however else they spent time with each other, the bottom line is they had a strong foundation. People are always screaming communication is the key to a good relationship and I would agree with that but communication is not the only key needed for a healthy relationship. I would consider myself a good communicator but I know in order for my relationship to survive and for me to build a healthy relationship, I need God in my life, trust, unselfishness, self esteem, I must commit myself and the list goes on. A relationship does not start and end with communication alone. 
I'm not saying that in 2012 that a relationship can't survive because it can, but we must stop mistaking lust for love or thinking having a friend with benefits is not a distraction to your relationship. Lust can sneak in and fool you but when the dust settles and a situation occurs you will learn real fast if your relationship is built on lust or love. I believe in love and marriage and plan to get married one day but it will be for the right reasons not solely because I became pregnant and he felt it was the right thing to do, not because it will financially benefit us, not because it's just something to do or because I'm getting older. I'm going to secure my foundation and build it up. What people must understand is that your foundation will not be complete over night, it takes time. Everyday you should be growing with your partner, building them up, motivating him or her to become a better person. The support system they need to survive the challenges of the world.

Again, do you have the foundation set in place for your relationship to survive?

Makenzi

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